NO pain NO gain
by AmberAllyCat
Summary: They didn't fear the king or the golden prince; it was the manservant with the neck-scarf that made the bandits rethink attacking Camelot. (Crack story) One-shot , warning: Ummm- not quite sure, weirdness? Authors Declaim: I DONT OWN CHARACTERS.


**Be-ware the neck scarf**

This was ridiculous. Seriously ridiculous. He had been shot, with an arrow, on a hunt, with Arthur. No he was used to getting hurt just… not in front of Arthur or the knights or… anyone really. Since he left Eldor Merlin hadn't had anyone but sometimes Guise patch him up or see him bleeding. He sighed. Yes, they did look worried. He rolled his eyes. He strode to his horse and took out his 'physician' bag. They had made camp without asking Merlin for once. Arthur could be seen stroking the fire. All was clear. Merlin took a strap of leather and placed into his mouth. He bit and snapped the arrow. Eyes widened and snapped to him. It hurt but he could bear with it – he had had worse. He couldn't focus on the world around him to much as he worked he would rather not allow the injury to fester, so admittedly had ignored everyone. He poured some surgical fluid on and maneuvered the arrow head out his arm. There was blood but he could see it was mostly superficial. Merlin grabbed his water skin and opened the cork with his teeth. He poured in on the wound and whipped lightly with his spare clean neck scarf. Using the sterilizing agent he chose the appropriate needle for stitching. A thin cotton . He started to sew up the wound. His arm was starting to spasm. He got a green Leon to hold it still. With the wound closed, he tied off the string and broke the remainder away. He had had to replace Leon with Percival once the knight had started shaking. Placing a paste on the wound and bandaging it ended his first aid. He packed up.

" So who want the rabbits for dinner?" Merlin asked getting ready to skin the animals they had caught before being attacked by bandits.

Gwain clapped Merlin on the shoulder after dinner. Turns out the knights had been in slight shock over watching the servant tend to his own wound. "Please tell me that that liquid was some type of numbing agent!" He seemed nervous. Merlin was confused- numbing agents were expensive and not used for people outside of nobles. "No, why would I have a numbing agent. That was spirits , to wash out the grit." Arthur seemed to pinch himself before flinching, he scowled at the knights that noticed. "I understand Princess, I'm a sucker for pain." Merlin laughed . It hadn't accrued to his that it was the lack of obvious pain on his face as he tended to his wound that had scared them. "I'm taking the poor prisoners food." Merlin chirped . He placed the dregs of the soup in a bowl and diluted it with water for the bandits that had been caught.

Merlin helped the unfortunate souls with the soup. "Are you not in pain?" One asked. Merlin smiled blindingly at them. "Extremely. Well of course I'm in pain I have a small hole in my arm." The man gasped at Arthurs manservant. "You don't look in pain." Another of the men said. Merlin's smile turned sad. "It's something I am able to deal with. I have had practice. Pain doesn't blind or slow me down anymore." The bandit grew pail as Merlin tapped his recently stitched arm. "See, all good and ready to go." The arm started shaking before settling again. Merlin re-gagged the prisoners before leaving.

There was another attack on the camp. The Prisoners were liberated. The Hunting party hurried home.

After a season of dwindling bandit activity in the Camelot Kingdom the King was confused. It was satisfactory that the travelers had little to worry about when traveling through the kingdom but it wasn't as if Bandits had taking a vacation… is it?

In the seedy pubs and shady ally's word had spread amongst the low lives not to attack the Red Kingdom. "If the _servants_ feel no pain Imagine the knights." Was whispered through bandits. "He stitched up his own arm WITHOUT flinching." One had asked the bearded man who. "A servant. A kind servant." As word ran from one group to another more came forward with stories. "No weapon lands." "We had twenty men and they had five not including THAT servant." Fear joined the fables. "The trees would fall, no-one but our group were hit." "None on their side ever left injured but THAT servant yet I never saw him flinch." And finally awe joined the fray. "He is the kindest one there but he doesn't react to pain." "THAT servant is the only one we see on hunting trips." "I have seen him jump between a knight and an arrow." "I've seen him knock over a knight saving him from a spear." "I've seen him fall flat on his face while walking but uncannily protect the knights." It had become a game to see who had the better story. "I caught him once, him and the prince." "He was in our dungeons." All the stories carried solemn warning. "they escaped killing half our men." "The dungeon was set on fire when they escaped." "Don't attack if you don't want to lose someone." "No-one has left with all the people that attacked." "Be-ware the neck scarf."

King Uther sat on his thrown gaping at the report his contact had recited. The lack of bandits had spurred the choice to send in an informant. He was expecting to receive word that the bandits were planning to join some attack of the other. He did not expect that the bandits were simply avoiding Camelot because of his sons chosen hunting party and manservant. "What do you mean the bandits are afraid to attack in Camelot?" The informant shifted. "As I understand it sire the bandits do not to incure the wrath of your sons company." Uther shook his head. He didn't get it. He was the one that had started a purge and killed countless people BUT it was his SON's group of five that had scared bandits Out of attacking the kingdom? "Are you telling me the scum of the kingdom is more scared of my son and his band of hooligans then they are of the KINGS LAW?" Uther watched the man gulp. "Sire if I may it's not the price but his manservant they would rather not face." Uther's jaw droped. "Merlin?" "Be-ware the neck scarf!" The man squeaked.

" _ **MER**_ **LIN!** " Uther watched as the young manservant stumbled down the hall with a tray flying after him. The boy then fell avoiding the projectile and almost getting a face full of brick. A cheeky smile lit that innocent looking face. " **So I take it breakfast is to your liking**?" the servant yelled at the open door. A shoe hit him in the face. Uther noticed the smile didn't fade and all the boy did was straighten his red neck scarf, grip the projectiles and trot back into the princes' room. A smash and another yell of Merlin flitted out the the King. 'How does anyone find THAT scary?' Uther wondered. He honestly didn't understand.


End file.
